Working For a Nuclear Free City.

Retardedly good band, deserve an honorable mention.

Under the milky way tonight

Well, I'm going to start posting again (this time DAILY), because it appears we've left off on the wrong foot here.

I could tell you how much that summer sucked and blah blah blah, but you've already guessed that.

Things are ALOT different, senior year has commenced and I am happy (knock on wood), skateboarding is great, the family is together and strong, everyone is happy and there is even a sense of love in the air that I haven't been able to smell in the longest time, after two years, the reeking stench of infedelity has left my sense of smell deaded.

Even though it's way too early to call something, I feel it in my bones that this year will pick up where freshman year left off, everything will be okay for once, the winter will blow over easy, and spring will be here to stay.

If you are interested in my progress and have been following my stories so far, you'll be glad to know I'm over what I've had to overcome, I've grown so much mentally and learned to control myself (though trying to do this intoxicated is QUITE a feat, but I am learning none the less).

"I might not be the one it's true, but I'm trying don't you know".

Now that that's over with, I'm QUITE a bit behind on the links...

hahafuntime.com (This is a sight run by a few friends of mine, tune in for regular updates and good skating always).

eat you ALIVE.

"It is in our moments of sheer loss that we are at our most dangerous".

Nothing good last forever, so of course you knew I'd be back with a rampage. So let's dive into it and not waste time bullshitting shall we?

Somewhere along the existance of humanity, (which will be short lived might I add) we have lost our sense of equality and morals, though we never admit it, we are completely and totally obsessed with power 100% yours truley included. For months, I have told myself I am different, I will bring back an era of justice and innocence, but after seeing people for who they REALLY are, It will be my pleasure to watch you burn in hell along side me. I give up, I hope all of you eat each other alive and the world ends in a state in which would give Lucifer himself nightmares. You all deserve it, every last one of you (myself inculded). Everyone must suffer, EVERYONE.

Purgatory, Rain, and the homecoming of Joey Seguna.

First and foremost, welcome home Joey.

Sorry for the lack of updates, I guess I've needed a little alone time to get my thoughts straight. It's been awkward lately. For summer the weather is far too cold, school feels LONG from over and I must learn to accept the fact that I am changing little by little. It's rained for the past 10 days, think we're going to need to worry about a drought?

Nothing more to say, which is relativley good, because if you have a glass jaw you should keep your mouth shut.

blueprints for future homes.

Not going to give any dates.

It's something bigger than you, bigger than I.

A promise is a promise

tomorrow be prepared.

Honorable mention.

hahafuntime.com

some good friends of mine, coming up fast

All the time in the world.

Give me a little time. Ill come back with something.

real quick

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yI1tGAxw79M&feature=PlayList&p=3BB2A6F8E50E1692&index=0&playnext=1

You should watch that.

4 walls and adobe slabs

For a while now I've felt that I've been so caught up with other things that I've really lost my sense of gratitude for I have. Since I have done nothing except devastate endlessly for the past twelve entries, I feel that I am obliged to show a happier side of life which is starting to blossom in my once dreary head. Along with this, allow me to visually animate my new found love for life, and to regain my gratitude which I should have never lost in the first place.

I woke up this morning at six fifty eight on the dot. This is the first time I can remember being able to wake up and breathe easy. I take a quick shower and engage in my morning routine. This one feels so much different from all the others. My hypothesis, is that when being weighted down by so many thoughts, it's easy to take all the little things for granted, and this CLEARLY relates to much of my past. For the first time in years I experience what a clear head can do to a person both mentally and physically. My breakfast tastes so much better than it usually does, and for once I enjoy my morning in an ever so humble fashion. I believe, that a clear head can cause a heightened sense of feeling. This is probably why I feel as if I can taste every tea leaf in my cup, why my orange juice seems to go down better than ever, why I can fully appreciate every step taken to prepare the meal. It is a sensation unheard of and it cannot be fathomed in words. In fact, any attempt made to describe this feeling is an understatement of its true enlightenment.

I look at my mother, and suddenly I feel everything she's ever done for me. For once I can say I feel the love of my mother, it surrounds me like an invisible blanket of safety. Two things simultaneously happen. A heightened sense of responsibility is handed to me, the responsibility of not letting her sacrifices go in vain, the responsibility of becoming a better person. The next occurrence is that I almost vomit, due to my lack of thanks, the thought itself makes me sick to my stomach.

I look at my sister Gabriella who I once considered to be my greatest pest. It is in that very moment that I am reminded that I am the eldest and it is my responsibility to shine light on her path so that she'll never loose her way. Every time I look at her I am constantly reminded of this.

I am ready now to be the better man, to walk out of the shadows of despair and hatred. I am ready to live again. I will never take a moment for granted be it a walk in the park or the day of my wedding, I will restore a sense of respect to myself. Above all, I will stay true to myself so I may not become a lost cause again.

And with that pledge allow me to end this entry with a quote from one of my favorite bands and a wish for you, the reader.

"I don't mean, to seem like I care about material things, Like a social status, I just want, four walls and adobe slabs for my girls"- Animal Collective.

I wish for you to clear your mind of all that has plagued you, together we will become better people and excel at this challenging test we call life.

Good luck and god bless

-Sam Patrick Yannotti

Peacebone.

Harsh HARSH entry yesterday. Since I try to update daily I guess ill be playing the "LINK" card today.

But first and foremost I'd like to thank everyone who bought me out of the slum, you know who you are.

My friend chris has become increasingly talented at skateboard.

Here's a link or two

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UnxOER8xuJQ&feature=channel_page

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SwBNQf2C0_E

I really liked this nollie flip alot. Too bad someone who will remain nameless fucked up the light setting.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qOTdqAfYzhE&feature=channel

Last but not least, is a link to my all time favorite NYC part. The video is great quality so enjoy!

http://reelcomp.com/videos/view/7121

Enjoy!

(Real blogging starts again tomorrow)

Salvation.

Don't say you weren't warned and that I told you it wasn't coming.


These days have been as black as the night, but at last a silver lining has emerged. Finally the first sign of good in a long time.




For sometime now I have searched for the essence of good in the city of lost souls, and the week I take a break is when I find it. Allow me to enlighten you with a few events whose occurrences have glowed ever so brightly in this dark world we live in (at least in my perspective).



I. The Old Man and the Gumball.

I, as most New Yorkers do, enjoy a solid black coffee during twilight hours to being the day. Due to my early schedule, I haven't had one chance this school year to enjoy the brew of my favorite dinner. So on a calm Thursday morning graced with beautiful weather, I set out for a nice walk and a quenching cup of coffee at the blue- bay dinner in Fresh Meadows. Whilst standing on a rather large line (As I said, MOST New Yorkers enjoy this), I was presented with the almost cliche sight of a young child staring at a gumball machine, whilst the mother picked up the food to go. As it happens in the movies, the child yanks on the strap of the mothers pocketbook only to be denied the circular silver key to his desire, and also as it is seen in the movies, the little boy almost immediately bursts into tears. Prevented by the single ten dollar bill in my pocket, my hope to intervene in the situation is decimated. So I watch in agony as the young child no more than 5 years old cries. However, no sooner do I see an old Asian gentleman (around his late 60's or early 70's) tap the toddler on the shoulder. He extends his closed fist to reveal a polished green gumball, which is snatched almost instantly by the delighted toddler. The mother is soon made aware of this gesture and reaches into her purse trying to repay the man, but the old gentleman responds to this gesture by extending his hand to reveal a gesture projecting the words "It's alright". He then smiles at the mother and winks at the jubilant young child. Needless to say, I stare at the gentleman in disbelief only wanting to shake his hand and say thank you. Suddenly I am awoken from my trance by the cashier uttering the words (in an utmost annoying voice), "HELLO! NEXT!"

II. Morals, Main Street, and the Q13.

A day or two after the incident at the dinner, I am awoken by a good friend of mine asking me if I'd like to join him in Manhattan around 1:30. I am quite fond of the city in which I reside in, so I agree. I have chosen to ignore the incident, and have dismissed it as a sheer coincidence. With 6 billion people on this planet, there is more than one decent person on the planet (I explained the theory of the "1%" of humanity in an earlier entry). I thought to myself for hours the night after and came to the conclusion that the man was a believer of the old fashion ways of chivalry and kindness, and era which has long since died with most of the population during the time. I think to myself of the level of greed this generation upholds and I almost shed a tear knowing the gentleman and the men of the great era in which he lived will pass on unremembered. My thoughts soon become heavier and heavier, and soon it is time to leave for my affair.

I show up around the corner of Main Street and Roosevelt at precisely 1:00 pm. I must admit, I have a quite a case of O.C.D when it comes to time, and I usually find myself arriving early to my affairs due to my abysmal fear of arriving late. I perch myself on a ledge across from the bus stop of the Q13 bus which is also the spot where I had agreed to meet my friend where we would cross the street and board the number seven train after his arrival. Main Street is probably the most crowded area of the suburban borough in which I live, many faces all going places. I begin to play a game with myself, which consists of analyzing people by their appearances to make an educated guess at their final destinations. A man in a black suit, aged around thirty five (my guess of course), a silver brief case and a pair of ray bans complete his imagine of a yuppie. My guess is that he's heading to wall street to try and uproot us from this shit hole that we dug OURSELVES, into, a case rather ironic. I take my eyes off this man in sheer disgust, and have picked out a familiar face among the crowd, a teenager such as myself who I attend school with. He is holding the hand of a little girl (who I make out to be his sister), and is walking with her toward the Q13 bus stop. I find myself is a state of curiosity, and I make my way over to the couple to greet them. "Hello", I say, I extend my hand out toward him in which he shakes it. I say hello to the little girl as well by moving my hand in a rather childish way, a way in which only children can appreciate. We make small talk for a little, and I notice that he is staring at the arriving bus. I ask him where he is off to in a rather curious tone of voice. He then smiles at the little girl and replies "I'm taking her to the movies". Not even a second after the words have left his lips, the little girl jumps into the air with benevolent smile and exclaims "We're going to see the Hannah Montana movie!" He then laughs a chuckles for a second and then extends his hand to me to return the gesture I had shown only moments ago. I shake his hand and bid him goodbye and watch as he boards the line for the bus. Never do I take my eyes off the couple, not even for a second. I watch as the teen helps his sister up the stairs, and then pays their tolls. I watch him escort her to a open seat in which he sits her down and gives her a "high- five". This incident has left me in a coma. I then experience the sensation of which I cannot give a definition. My friend arrives a minute later. I play back the experience time after time for the rest of the day.

This is a sign, there is good in the world, I KNOW it. I feel it now, more than ever.

III. The Jaws of Life.

I have a handful of true friends, most will remain nameless. Among them is an E.M.T, a man who I feel I am inferior to introduce. He is the head E.M.T at his medical base in Flushing, he is a man of many morals who I cannot even begin to enlighten you on. This story has absolutley nothing to do with my experiences, but I feel it should be mentioned to pay hommage to a man who is the very essence of benevolence, someone who will be praised for his ways of honesty and truth when judgement day comes (and rest assure it is coming for us all).

Now that you have somewhat of an idea of my friend, let us begin the story.

Saturday afternoon, a time in which children enjoy themselves by engaging in many different activities. A regular twelve year old boy playing basketball at his local gymnasium. A nice crowd, smiles all around. The scene itself is perfect, like a scene of out a family movie. Something I'd say that you would like to picture yourself in. However, when there is no more room for perfection, there is plenty of room for malace, and so by a horrible accident, a young 12 year old boy is lying on the polished floor with no pulse and no heartbeat. He is taken for dead, but still posesses the will to live.

The call comes into the peaceful base, the ambulance departs in a furious manner, armed with screaming sirens who utter the call of a last hope. Among the crew is my friend, hoping to persuade death to spare the soul of the little boy. They arrive on the scene, C.P.R is started at the blink of an eye with the A.E.D already half way charged. So the fight begins as the contractions start and the A.E.D is applied. The crew is determined, so far.

C.P.R is failing, and five A.E.D's have still not bought this boy to the earth. There is a devistating, omnious feeling in the air. The crew has started to realize that they are fighting an uphill battle, all but one. A sixth A.E.D fails almost completing the transition from a body to a cadaver. However, the boys will to live is smelled by the head E.M.T, and the A.E.D is powered up for one final time. The pads are applied to the chest of the pre- teen, this is the last chance for the boy to beat death. The E.M.T puts his heart in his chest as he screams "CLEAR!" on final time. With the press of the button the boy is brought back to life, and death has since then lurked back into the shadows.

The E.M.T thanks his crews and shakes the hands of almost everyone in the gym. He is offered money by the family, but humbly refuses it. He has been paid already, with the glory of saving a life, with the glory that he has achieve an impossible feat in such a small amount of time. He has conquered death, but more importantly, he has saved a family, he has given the boy another chance, and that is all he cares about.

And so he enjoys a nice slow ride back to the base, reading for whatever is next.

There is good in the world, I see it, I believe it.

This is my salvation.

Mindfield

good weather, a nice train of thought, I'm working on something. It's going to be big

Good night and god bless

-Sam Patrick Yannotti

Severed ties yeild severed heads

Tolerence isn't mandatory for human beings, in fact, I believe anyone who has tolerence is a strongly gifted human being. There are only so many straws that the camels backs can hold (If you understand my expression). What is there to be said for those human beings who "snap", and loose it all. Are their actions justifiable? I'll tell you what I believe in, provoked agression. I believe that even though we (the ungifted part of the race) don't have the tolerance of a saint, we can still digest emotions (though slower than the others of course) however, when we do snap, it is provoked by usually another person. The moral question is, how many of our provoked actions are jusitifiable by "human moral". Decipher the title for yourself.

-Sam P. Yannotti

An eye for an eye

We live in a world based on a one way street, the street itself is directed in a person's own interest. As I have learned tonight, people are a predictable species, when it comes to certain aspects that is. For example, people will always be greedy, if you leave ten dollars on the floor. There is a 99% chance that someone will claim it for themselves. However, what is there to be said for the 1% who will ask who the money belongs to before taking it as a last resort? There is nothing to be said for them. They will suffer in a world of sin in which they did not deserve. Humanity is now an infected virus, there is one final solution left. Decipher the title for yourself.

God help us all.

- Sam P. Yannotti

About a boy

I saw this on facebook, I decided I'd do it seeing as I really don't put too much about my personal self on this, after all it is a blog...

Ten Things I Wish I Could Say to Ten Different People:

1. I'd eat you alive.

2. Where do we stand now?

3. Thank you, I know I'm not the eaisiest to put up with.

4. Come back, I'm sorry.

5. I'm sorry (in general).

6. What is happening to me?

7. Why did I have to meet you?

8. Thank you (in general).

9. Why are you lying?

10. Stop talking.

Nine things about myself:

1. I think too much

2. I have a terribly low self confidence level

3. I have devoted most of my life to the study of music

4. I am looking too hard for love, at this rate ill NEVER find it.

5. I am terribly good at arguing

6. I'm going to be a nobody for the rest of my life

7. My dreams are obviously unaccomplishable, might as well realize it now

8. My kindness is often abused as a weakness.

9. I am only human

Eight ways to win my heart:

1. Smile alot.

2. Be yourself.

3. Don't lie.

4. Be able to hold a conversation.

5. A good vocabulary.

6. Be good looking (noone likes an ugly girl, thats the truth).

7. Be open.

8. Make jokes.

Seven things that cross my mind a lot:

1. Music

2. New ideas

3. thoughts of all kinds

4. skateboarding

5. love

6. my guitar

7. sex

Six things I do before I fall asleep:

1. Play guitar.

2. Listen to music.

3. Watch skate videos.

4. Eat.

5. Brush my teeth.

6. AIM.

Five people who mean a lot:

1. Aunt Toby

2. Uncle Herb

3. Mom

4. Dad

5. nnifamme.

Four things you're wearing right now:

1. Led Zepplin shirt

2. Cords

3. White socks

4. Green undershirt.

Three songs that you listen to often:

1. My girls- Animal Collective

2. Human- The Killers

3. Anything by tiesto

Two things you want to do before you die:

1. fall in love

2. Have the dignity to die knowing that I tried to make the world a better place for everyone.

One confession:

1. I don't like myself at all.

Goodtimes for a change.

A clear head and a fresh day result in a rest for my nit picking manner.

Enjoy the weather

-Sam P Yannotti

dreams in digital

Midnight right now, been having a strange flow of thoughts, I figured I'd blog it rather than just forget the idea all together. Self satisfaction seems to be key these days, what people will do to achieve it is almost beyond me.

A dream is a guided thought which will hopefully motivate an individual toward "sucess", which is commonly known as living a productive life, having a family, having money, and last but not least, being able to die with dignity (something most people cannot do today). This is also known as "The American Dream", to others. I guess we've lost the "American" inside of us, because we as a society have recreated the definition of a dream, and manipulated it to accomodate our sick and twisted needs and achieving our "self satisfaction".

Being beautiful, oh how I wish I had a penny for everytime I heard someone say this. I would be filthy rich by now. Thanks to cosmetic companies all around, we all strive to achieve what is known to us today as "beauty". It appears that all of our eyes must be connected to the same head because no longer does beauty seem to be in the eye of the beholder. Anorexia is where we'll begin our descendency into the world of "beauty", because this always seems to be the first step. It appears we have lost our sense of inner substance and have converted our once full equipped bodies into simple bombshells without thoughts or feelings. I mean, who cares about what Suzie Q has to say, as long as she looks good in that new Fendi bathing suit (we'll get to designer names later), she is respectable. So Suzie Q starts to put her fingers down her throat, and along with her ham sandwich, she throws up her individuality and desire to think for herself. Hence Suzie Q has completed step one in her quest for "comercial attraction", and "beauty".

So let us move away from the throat region, and into the heart itself. We look so hard to find evil men and women and punish them, I say look no farther than time square or park avenue. Real evil lies in the heart of the "designers" and the "models", both of whom benefit from... Oh wait, remember Suzie Q? She died two hours ago from a speed overdose trying to loose more weight. Let's explore her wardrobe real quick shall we? Hmm, Gucci pants, Louie Vutton bag, Dolce and Garbana top. Let's calculate the prices! the pants 270 dollars, the bag 550 dollars, and the top, haha it's more than you make in a month. There goes her college tuition. Who cares though! The money is in their hands, money which is soaked in the blood of innocent people trying to "fit" in. The executive for Gucci picks out a new Ferrari whilst Suzie Q's parents pick out a coffin. We finace this, with our own desire, with our synthetic dreams designed to make us "beautiful"

God help us all.

-Sam Patrick Yannotti

Faith in tragedy

Updating from school today, seeing as I have a little time left in musicianship. 90 minutes ago I watched an amazing documentary on M.L.K in english class (Made by MTV, I'm pretty sure it's on YouTube somewhere). Through watching it, and being quite amazed at both the film making and the actual story of Dr. King himself, it has struck me that humanity is composed of sacrifice and devotion toward a single idea which in the long run is proven right, after being scorned for so many years. Take Dr. King himself, a perfect example of a man who stood for equality and indeed is a prime symbol of selflessness. A man who sacrificed his family, his morals and overall, his life for a single idea. This makes me wonder, have we as a society become so infested with evil that these tradgedies must occur to spark a wave of justice and what is right? The fact that any man should die at an age of thirty eight, is simply unjust, and adding more to this is the fact that he died for a civil cause. The answer to my previous question, is yes. Somewhere along the line man has lost his sense of teamwork, and since then has developed a sense of individuality. However, this sense has created man to forget our homosapien brotherhood, and hence developed his sense of supremecy. Those who follow the "individual" please him, and therefore through emulation, a superficial brotherhood is formed. The brotherhood of whites, the brotherhood of blacks. We have all become so nationalistic of our "races", that we forget the "brotherhood" part. Hence, we loose our family morals and have become biggoted twoard our homosapien brotherhood. This is where tragedy comes into play. Must an innocent man who believed in nothing but good die to prove something we should have known many millenia ago?

The world will never change, and hence we must have faith in tradgedy to eliminate evil.

-Sam P. Yannotti

close my eyes, let the whole thing pass me by...

It's been quiet around my house all day, and being that I'm completely unoccupied (most due to my destroyed knee), I find myself re tracing my own footsteps, trying to find the flaws in the equation to try and get a grasp on them so that they might be prevented in the future.

I never understood love, I never understood infatuation, and without a doubt I never understood the consequences of breaking away from the other two, or at least trying.

Here's the clincher, when you leave someone reguardless of how good they are to you, and you come back years later, expecting the same results as the time before. Turns out she's been sleeping with one of your old friends.

And now you sit here and wonder what you did wrong.

Flaw found, always appriciate a moment for what it's worth, and never let greed get the best of you, unless you want to wind up alone.

-Sam P. Yannotti

Arrivals & departures.

I have no epic starting sentence for the day, I probably won't have an interesting entry either. The whole day has more or less been very slow and bland. From the math test second period to the tragic story I was just informed of minutes ago, this day really has nothing much to say for it. I would like to extend my sympathies to the family of the woman that was killed earlier today (who was the mother of a friend of my sister's friend). Other than that, I really have no desire to write anything of my daily routine, in which I am doing you favor, seeing as I would probably bore you to death.

For the one positive thing I usually try to address, is that fact that a good friend of mine, Joey(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qLE9nDHcO-o) Seguna was dismissed from rehab and will be on his way back home soon.

However, this day has inspired me to speak out against this cold, tragic world we live in today. Here is something I would like to address. In light of my recent epiphanies, I've had many thoughts about our universal problems (pretaining to the world) lately and I feel that in light of our inspirational president that I should too make a speech (though not heard by millions), for change. It's no surprise we live in a world made up of desires to staisfy ourselves. In fact, I feel that we are lying to ourselves when we scream and riot for change. As much as we want to believe that we will care for people in need, we simply don't. We hide behind our apathetic desires and use them as excuses for selfishness. In this world, to truley co exist, I feel we must give up a sense of self satisfaction, and learn to be more intact with the people we live among today. Of course, we won't stop wars, we won't end famine, somethings are almost too big to be changed immediatley. Instead, we should all (all as in humanity), focus on the little things. A good deed done, is a good deed done reguardless of what it is. Be it that you helped your neighboor with garden work, or retrived a lost item and returned it to its owner, one good deed a day is a step in the right direction twoards the salvation of humanity. So let us all as a humanity make a proper habbit of it and start with a little selflessness, as an old asian proverb says " It is not the length of journey that matters", "It is steps that are taken to reach the proper end point". So please, if you do read this, find it in your heart to make an honest attempt at selflessness, to try and do a right thing for a right reason, not because you feel it is correct. Let us depart from our old decadent selves, and arrive at a new medium in which we will strive to maintain what good humanity has left, and to rebuild the peace we have since destroyed.

As always, my thanks is giving to all who have read through this, and my sincere grattitude is given to those who will try to follow this plan. One small step is better than none.

Sam P. Yannotti

easy like monday morning.

Being that monday is almost always the slowest day of the week, I've had quite some time with my thoughts. As of the past few days I've been trying to analyze what I've been doing for the past 10 1/2 months and where it's going to get me later on in life. Even though I live most of my life out of sheer spontaneous actions, something hasn't really felt right as of lately. I can't really put my finger on it, and so I go on day dreaming as I usually do, I'm sure there's an answer somewhere out there.

Whilst I try to search for an answer enjoy these.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iuf6RoelSuw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kUlkG5W6l5o

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3AzPp9Ur1hM